Sep. 11, 2007 - Issue #621: Sex in The City 07
Finding the foods that fuel the fire:
an aphrodisiac taste test
Aphrodisiacs, I recently discovered, come in many varieties. Some are thought to enhance the libido through their similarity in appearance to the human sex organs, such as bananas, escargot or Amy’s lucky asparagus. There are those that enhance blood flow to the nether regions, making us more aware of our carnal needs. Some foods play havoc with the most erogenous organ in the body—the brain—in a biochemical game of footsie with our arousal center.
Finally, some aphrodisiacs reputedly offer the virility of the hapless animal to which it used to belong. Tiger penis supposedly provides men the virility of an angry cat that woke up to find he was missing his “little tiger.”
I recently invited a group of open-minded friends to indulge in a haphazard banquet of aphrodisiacs with an orgy of options. I wanted to expose them to as many known libido-rousing foods as possible, both modern and historical. A few lucky friends could get lucky.
The Kama Sutra has numerous recipes for licorice-based dishes, the smell of which are thought to enhance arousal and blood flow to the sexual organs. I started the evening by serving a bowl of black Australian licorice sticks, potent with the smell and flavour of licorice root. Everyone politely chose a piece, but it certainly wasn’t the carnal canapé I had hoped it would be. I served salty kalamata olives and a bowl of freshly made guacamole. Olives and avocados are thought to enhance male virility, perhaps explaining why Mediterranean men are known for their sexual prowess. Watching one of my guests manipulate the fleshy olives and extricate a pit with his muscular tongue was enough to make me wish I were a pimento.
I had considered serving cocktails, but since coffee can prolong erections and increase libido, I chose a rich Nigerian brew spiked with whole cardamom seeds designed to stimulate sexuality. Although one or two alcoholic drinks may serve as a social lubricant, any more discourages sexual pleasure and longevity. Having been the victim of whiskey-dink in the past, I opted not to introduce booze to our sexcapades.
At Billingsgate Seafood, I had bought a dozen fresh Malpeque oysters($12.99). Casanova was reputed to consume 50 oysters a day in pursuit of staying power, and with 12g of protein per dozen, he may have been on to something. Aphrodisiacs are named for Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, beauty and sexual rapture, whom reputedly sprang from the ocean in an oyster shell.
Still alive in their protective shells, cooking them certainly didn’t put me in the mood for romance. I grilled them on the barbeque, slipping a spoonful of garlic butter into each shell as it opened. Once the butter was bubbling, I broke open the shell and offered my guests a shot of protein-rich libido on the half-shell. Surprisingly, despite the queasiness I felt at cooking them, I had to admit they were delicious, if not a little sexy.
I watched Michael bring the scalloped shell of a grilled oyster to his lips and tip it back and I felt a surge of lusty adrenalin. The oyster, juice, butter and garlic slid onto his tongue, lingered, then disappeared as he swallowed. The garlic lent a rich flavour that complimented the tender oyster meat perfectly.
For the coup-de-grace I brought out a vat of molten chocolate and mountainous bowl of freshly cut fruit. Falling upon the fondue dish like guests at a Roman orgy, my friends began piercing fruit and smothering it in the rich, melted chocolate with vigour. My dog watched with curiosity, her head cocked to one side, as I slid a piece of chocolate-covered mango into my mouth with a groan of pleasure.
Bites of mango and fig were specifically chosen to stimulate the women and improve their fertility, while papaya and banana were meant to raise pheromone levels in the men. The real hero was the chocolate itself, rich in neurotrophic stimulators, also containing caffeine to assist with late-night aerobics.
I gave everyone a sample of my homemade love potion to wash down the sticky sweet fondue mess. Made from chamomile and rose petals for the power of the sun, lavender for its ability to attract, basil for fidelity and a pinch of saffron to stimulate the erogenous zones, I proffered the concoction as a warm aromatic tea. Served as iced tea sweetened with honey, it could readily be slipped into someone’s unsuspecting glass on a hot summer day.
The brewing of love potions and the use of charms and rituals have all been performed to attract and enchant potential suitors, with or without their consent. Herbalists have been devising potions for generations: some are meant to bring back a lost love, others to improve a waning love and the most controversial elixirs are those designed to make someone fall in love with the potion’s maker.
Satiated and armed with an arsenal of knowledge, my guests departed with instructions to report any sexy encounters that occurred in the next 24 hours.
As for me, I crawled into bed alongside my dog, pulling her close to breath in the musky scent of her soft white fur. Freeing herself from my grasp, she retired to the end of the bed, looking back at me as though to say, “Don’t even think about it.”
No tigers were harmed in the writing of this story. V
New comments for this entry have been turned off and any existing ones are hidden. We apologize for any inconvenience.
