Sep. 10, 2008 - Issue #673: Sex in the City 2008

Gourmet lover

Just because the sex is quick doesn't mean the food has to be

‘Meet me just after noon,” I whispered, my voice husky with desire as I pressed the hotel keycard into her hand. A flush crept up her throat as she glanced at the card and gave a scarcely perceptible nod. I watched her move under the tight, businesslike skirt as she strode away. My cell phone buzzed on my hip—the girlfriend—and I ignored it.
 

I had been flirting with the Vietnamese mother of two for a couple of months. Her husband was out of town a lot, and she admitted to both loneliness and a penchant for Pinot Noir. I made a quick call to the Italian Centre on the southside (5028 - 104A St) and asked them to assemble a goodie basket for two. They asked a couple of questions about my order, then told me it would be ready on time.
 

With difficulty, I put the conquest out of my mind until I left work. I intentionally passed her desk to find her desperately focused on a spreadsheet and blushing furiously. She refused to meet my smouldering gaze and I grinned broadly on my way out the door.
 

I dropped $50 at the Italian Centre and picked up a $30 bottle of the Lake Breeze Seven Poplars Pinot Noir on my way to the hotel. I slipped into the nearly vacant parking lot and took an elevator from the lobby to my room. She was already waiting for me and watched nervously as I poured her a drink. 
 

I could tell that she was expecting something quick. She was baffled by the meal I laid out, but started to relax as she rolled the salty kalamata olives on her tongue, which blended with the silky black currant flavours of the Pinot. Wayward pearls of mild, creamy bocconcini cheese rolled across the sheets. We chatted quietly about work, kids and holiday plans as we ate.
 

Occasionally, I reached over to feed her a particularly succulent morsel. I daubed at her mouth with the napkin, lingering over her full lips. She moved to kiss my fingers and I intercepted her lips with my own. A passionate 90 minutes later, I had a spring in my step for the rest of the afternoon.

 

Any sexual escapade can be a seduction, and a true seduction combines all of the senses. A woman must be engaged by sight, sound, taste, touch and smell: I find that sharing some exquisite dishes right beforehand sets the tone for a gluttonous bout of lovemaking.
 

In fact, even on those rare occasions when my tastes run to the sordid and only a professional can satisfy my desires, I include some appetizers before I savour the main course. I find that carrying a half-dozen nata from Popular Bakery (9307 - 118 Ave) under one arm and a six-pack of cold Hoegaarden under the other helps any price negotiation. Each tiny, traditional Portuguese tart boasts luscious custard and a sweetly caramelized crust that inspires extra effort in those that I approach. 
 

Sadly, not every seduction can be planned so perfectly. There are times when I’m rushed—or taking advantage of an opportunity—and I’m caught without those succulent tidbits that tantalize the palate and deliver the most passionate of experiences. Since I have yet to find a room service that measures up, I keep Dial and Dine (780.944.9933) on speed dial.
 

While networking at a function at the Westin, I hit it off with a stunning blonde presenter from Montréal. I rescued her from a crowd of portly men dressed in unflattering suits and we dashed upstairs to her suite. In the elevator, we were unable to keep our hands off each other and we fell into her bed without even bothering to check if the door was closed. A half hour later, I made a quick phone call, and after a more leisurely session, there was a soft knock at the door. Wearing her robe, I accepted the bags from the grinning delivery guy and gave him a sly wink along with a hefty tip on the $65 bill.
 

Mikado’s Combination Plate of sushi and maki has yet to disappoint me, and it can stand up to some delivery delays. The Rainbow Roll is always impressive, and both were perfectly paired with the sake I had requested. Sushi always tastes better when you’re naked with someone you met recently and likely won’t see again. Don’t ask me why. Refreshed, we spent a few more hours together before she turned her cellphone back on to discover that the organizers had been looking for her all afternoon.

The key to a successful seduction is preparation. If you are prepared, you are confident and charismatic. Uncertainty and doubt will kill your game faster than a rich, well-dressed cock-blocker. Take some advice from someone who has been there and deliver an unexpected pre- (or post-) sex treat and get ready for the fireworks. V 

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