Feb. 02, 2005 - Issue #485: The Yes Men

Meat the parents

Teething infant referees a Pagolac vs. Pagolac feast-of-beef throwdown

Whenever I travel up 97 Street from downtown, the jaunty yellow-and-red sign with the laughing cow above Pagolac usually manages to tempt me in for a quick bite. This time, however, I went to see the cow’s equally happy sister at the southside location. This was to be a “7 Dishes of Beef Meat” throwdown: which location offered the best version of their special feature?

This challenge is not for the faint of heart: in preparation for such a beefalicious experience, my wife and I had subsisted on nothing but salads and filtered water for days. We were just reaching the stage that vegetarians call “enlightenment” and carnivores call “withdrawal” when we arrived at Pagolac’s heavy wooden door.

As we wheeled our napping infant down the long hallway towards the restaurant, we were dazzled by the conflicting imagery. The dark brick and wood corridor gave a bizarre impression of an old English mill. When the corridor opened into a dining area, the rich red carpet and curtains hanging against wooden walls could have furnished the dining car of a 19th-century train. We were whisked into a private room, presumably so that our suddenly alert offspring might not trouble the other diners—of which there were plenty, even early on a Tuesday evening.

My wife and I awaited the steeping of our complimentary tea and glanced at the substantial menu with interest. There were exactly 200 items, most around the $12 mark. Some of the beverages caught my eye—would I ever try a Jack Fruit juice or Black Chinese Jelly on Ice? Probably not. We were just killing time, though. We knew what we wanted: item number one, “7 Dishes of Beef Meat” for two ($28.50). The carnivore within me roared. Our waitress took our order with a smile and disappeared to collect the first course.

My wife listened briefly and asked if it was ironic that they were playing “Paint It Black,” theme song of the ’Nam-based show Tour of Duty, as we sat in a Vietnamese restaurant; I commented that it was better than hearing Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries.” We were still laughing when the first course arrived. Taking a break from all that gaiety, we dropped some raw slices of beef in the fondue pot to cook, built a couple of wraps in preparation and turned our attention to the waitress’s next delivery. Supplied with addictive Vietnamese chips, the Steamed Beef Loaf was a warm treat accented with onions and mellow spices. By the time we polished off the loaf, the fondue was ready to give up its treasure. I was halfway into my first wrap when I realized that the refreshing zest I was savouring was fresh mint, part of the greenery I had tossed in as a token gesture to a balanced diet. Our daughter particularly enjoyed the vermicelli, and celebrated her joy by festooning walls, table and herself with noodly goodness.

The next four courses were a little confusing, and we may have missed one in the excitement. The Shish-Ka-Bob in Satay was exquisite, wrapped around crisp bok choy and with a spice that sneaked up on me. The Beef Wrapped in “La Lop” Leaves was very tender, accented by the basil-like taste and texture of their vertiginous envelopes. But the plate of Cubes of Beef Tenderloin was the best of all: I adore Asian barbecue, and this was a delicious combo of bell peppers, pea pods and mushrooms. However, I doubt we ever received the Beef Sausage. (Not that we missed it; I felt a bit like a stuffed beef sausage myself.) Beef Congee, our final dish, answered the eternal question, “What does a beef dessert taste like?” The hot soup featured a thick layer of rice at the bottom, and the overall taste was seductively sweet.

It took my wife and me 15 minutes to get our daughter ready to go. We left a mess and a generous tip on our $30.50 bill, promising ourselves we would try to find a sitter until Maeryn was done teething; with standing offers from family and friends, it should be a few months before she trashes another restaurant. And the winner of the “7 Dishes of Beef Meat” throwdown? While both serve up an amazing array of beef delights, the southside’s cozy décor and Cubes of Beef Tenderloin won them the challenge. V

Pagolac
9642-54 Ave • 433-9988

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