Sep. 28, 2011 - Issue #832: Jennifer Castle
18 GOING ON 007Twenty years ago, John Singleton made a rather good film called Boyz n the Hood. Now he's made a movie about a boy from a rich 'hood who briefly dons a hood in order to hide from cameras and the killers after him. Warning: any other similarity between Singleton's talented debut and Abduction is entirely non-existent.
Tough bozo boy (Taylor Lautner) likes girl next door (Lily Collins), boy discovers his parents are actually his CIA handlers just before they're killed (Exhibit Zzzz in overstatement: "I just saw my parents murdered—before my eyes!") by baddies after the boy to use him as a bargaining chip with his real father (a Special Ops killer), boy flees with girl before fighting back.
Boring fugitive action-flick meets insipid teen romance (rounded off by a crappy emo score), leaving a looks-good-on-paper cast (Sigourney Weaver, Maria Bello, Alfred Molina) in tatters. The only thing more fleeting than our boy, 18 going on 007, is convincing evidence of Lautner's acting ability.
The title's both misleading and inspiring. There's no glimpse of a single "ab" on Lautner in the whole movie—few honey shots here for the teen-girl demographic—but well before the movie shows any hint of ending, you'll hope for a quick abduction, by any means, from the cineplex.
Directed by: John Singleton
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