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Dec. 12, 2012 - Issue #895-Japandroids

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Playing For Keeps

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Butler always plays for keeps

Here's the lump of coal for the Christmas movie season. Playing For Keeps is a sloppy, soppy mess of a sports movie-meets-relationship drama. In a heroically selfish display of corporate teamwork, a certain German sportswear company, a certain Italian sportscar company and a certain American sports network pimp out Gerard Butler to the soccer-mom demographic. (Although Butler did it to himself, too—he's an executive producer.) At first, the movie lightly mocks silly suburban shenanigans, then remembers to ogle all the massive homes and leather-interior cars.

George Dryer (Butler) is a washed-up ex-soccer pro coaching his young son's soccer team, bedding or nearly bedding various vapid moms (Judy Greer, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Uma Thurman) of the players and trying to get back onside with his ex-wife (Jessica Biel, who tries to rise above but was apparently contractually obligated to gaze hopefully or cry in every scene). An own-goal shambles of bland characterization, comic shtick, exes-still-in-love clichés and lazy implausibilities, this is like a bad Coen brothers comedy played straight. It does offer an occasionally delinquent notion of parenting—George teaches good ol' Virginian kids to say "wanker" and lets his son steer the Berlusconi-mobile on the open road. Otherwise, Playing For Keeps plays down to the ugliest American stereotype of soccer—dull to the point of brain-death.
 
NO STARS Playing For Keeps
Opens Now playing
Directed by: Gabriele Muccino

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