Continued!

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16) What is the longest you’ve gone without sex?

	Female Straight	Female Queer	Male Straight	Male Queer
0-2 Months	20%	27%	23%	25%
3-6 Months	24%	27%	23%	31%
7 Months	19%	18%	16%	22%
More than 1 Year	13%	6%	13%	10%
More than 2 Years	25%	22%	25%	12%

Wow, the straight folk are almost identical. It seems once we wait one year, we’re waiting more than two. Queer guys are the most likely to be getting some on a regular basis.
Ahh college. How long was that, four years? I mean nobody had sex in college, we were too busy studying, right? Uhh, I mean, yeah plenty of sex in college. Puhlenty. But no experimenting, none of that, no way, just some touching and a bit of spooning.

17) Sex can be messy! Yours is so messy you need…

	Female Straight	Female Queer	Male Straight	Male Queer
Tissues	17%	6%	27%	14%
Face Cloth	28%	22%	16%	23%
Towel	35%	27%	33%	43%
New Sheets	17%	33%	20%	14%
To hose down the room	3%	12%	4%	6%

Hose the room down? Maybe that’s your problem. Time to consider a new career in the porn industry. Wow, queer girls are messy! We found it very interesting how in each group Facecloth and Towel equaled over 50%. That is why there are so damn many bed and bath stores! The demand for towel sets must be huge. Next time you see someone walking out of those stores with a pile of new towels, smile and nod. Hell, ask them out.

18) Have you ever had sex with a friend’s current partner or ex?

	Female Straight	Female Queer	Male Straight	Male Queer
Yes	30%	33%	25%	37%
No	70%	67%	75%	63%

Interesting! If you intend to leave your significant other alone with a friend, you are getting better odds with your straight guy friend. Chances are, right now your boyfriend is getting it on with your gay buddy. Like I said earlier, some of you need to stop just screwing around and develop an ethical stance on something. Recycling, global warming, anything, just so you can feel good about yourself, ’cause I think your need to screw anyone is a symptom of a bigger problem.

19) If you have, did you admit it?

	Female Straight	Female Queer	Male Straight	Male Queer
Yes	61%	64%	47%	52%
No	39%	36%	53%	48%

Remember, only those who answered yes to # 18 have been accounted for in this question. So girls are far more likely to admit to your face that they just screwed your partner. How ethical of you. Above we mentioned that you would be best off leaving your partner with your straight guy friend. But if he’s doing her, he’ll never admit it. Coward!
Admitting to yourself doesn’t count so adjust your answer accordingly. Did you tell your friend? Are they still your friend?

20) What do you want more of in your sex life?

	Female Straight	Female Queer	Male Straight	Male Queer
Intense Sex	69%	78%	66%	80%
Oral	45%	58%	56%	63%
Kissing	48%	58%	34%	55%
Kinky	42%	60%	46%	45%
Adventure	63%	55%	55%	53%
Communication	38%	42%	34%	51%
Multiple Partners	12%	30%	38%	33%

Remember, those who answered these questions could answer all that applied. Still the answers are pretty interesting. “Enough kissing.” That is the phrase you’ll hear if you are attached to a straight guy. Seriously, what he wants is another person. Do you have a friend? Gay girls are all about the kinky, intense sex. Can we watch? Gay guys seem to love their mouths; lets’s talk in between oral sessions. Adventure is what straight girls want, so those of you attached to one, enough with the vanilla sex!

21) Pleasure preference…

	Female Straight	Female Queer	Male Straight	Male Queer
Dildo	10%	39%	6%	29%
Vibrator	53%	43%	17%	20%
Neither	37%	18%	78%	51%

Perhaps we shouldn’t have given you the neither option. Are there really that many of you who are undecided or dislike them? We have learned something from this question and isn’t that really the point of this survey: to learn. The straight folk love the stuff that moves on its own, but the queers are much more partial to something they control. Okay, I know people use vibrators and dildos, but please if you’re sleeping with me, please don’t compare me ’cause I’m not made of plastic and I don’t take batteries. And I don’t what to know how big it is, so don’t tell me. I can’t hear you, lalalalalala.

22) Speaking of… how big is your dildo/vibrator?

	Female Straight	Female Queer	Male Straight	Male Queer
Don’t have one	38%	15%	78%	51%
Realistic	35%	43%	10%	33%
Pocket Rocket	11%	9%	4%	4%
Monstrous	4%	12%	1%	4%
’ve got an assorted batch	12%	21%	7%	8%

I guess we had to know that a lot of people would say they didn’t have one, particularly since so many said they didn’t like vibrators and dildos. But there are some interesting results. Those that have one seem to like them realistic. Straight folk seem to have an aversion to the big ones.

23) Fingers and orifices, oh my. How many digits do you like?

	Female Straight	Female Queer	Male Straight	Male Queer
None	3%	0%	50%	14%
1	18%	15%	19%	20%
2	58%	49%	23%	33%
3	17%	27%	5%	27%
4	1%	0%	1%	2%
5	3%	9%	3%	4%

Hmm, it seems almost everyone loves to be fingered and there is nothing better than two or three. However, approach a straight guy with more than two fingers, he’s likely to freak. Also funny, queer girls are very committed. If you are going up with four, you may as well send up the full package. Yippy.

24) Did you contribute to the adult industry in the last year? Which did you purchase?

	Female Straight	Female Queer	Male Straight	Male Queer
Sex Professional	0%	0%	4%	0%
Internet Porn	9%	12%	24%	41%
Magazines	6%	9%	27%	20%
Strip Clubs	13%	15%	18%	10%
Toys	45%	64%	25%	22%
DVDs	14%	15%	29%	35%
None	42%	21%	36%	31%

Remember those who responded could check all that applied. Hey, it’s a $800 billion industry, so I know I’m not the only one renting, reading and downloading. Always downloading. Some interesting results and some obvious results. Given the answers guys gave us about dildo and vibrators, it is not surprising that they do not spend much on toys. Is there not a sex industry in Edmonton for any one but straight guys? Really? One thing for sure, the guys love the porn. Not surprising why they were the ones more likely to jerk of more that 15 times per month. Queer girls are almost as likely to go to strip clubs as straight guys. So guys, when you go and you see a table full of girls, they are much more interested in the stripper than you. Or was that a given?

25) Unprotected Sex?

	Female Straight	Female Queer	Male Straight	Male Queer
Never/when monogamous	57%	58%	61%	55%
From time to time	36%	27%	26%	45%
It’s the only way to go	7%	15%	13%	0%

This is a difficult question to examine. Asking a queer girl about unprotected sex seems a little silly. Given that we did include bisexual girls in that category, it is a little more relevant. Still, it was unfortunate to learn that straight males are so willing to gamble with their lives and health. Enough preaching! Obviously, bare backing is alive and well in the River City … City of Champions … The Cool City … what the hell are we?

26) Have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease?

	Female Straight	Female Queer	Male Straight	Male Queer
No	73%	73%	81%	84%
Yes, but it’s history	13%	12%	12%	12%
I thought so but no	9%	6%	5%	4%
I’ll have it forever	4%	9%	2%	0%

Aieeee. Why does it burn when I pee? Well Jimmy, you might have what experts call a “STD” or a “sexually transmitted disease.” Girls, girls! We shouldn’t preach, glow in the dark privates are punishment enough.

27) You would be comfortable being naked in front of others in…

	Female Straight	Female Queer	Male Straight	Male Queer
A locker room	47%	61%	60%	78%
Hot Tub or Sauna	38%	61%	55%	65%
Nude Beach	44%	55%	49%	67%
Sex Party or Bathhouse	16%	42%	42%	71%
Only in front of my partner	60%	39%	47%	29%
Not even in front of my pet	4%	6%	3%	0%

Here is another question people could answer all of the above if they chose. It seems queer guys are comfortable naked just about anywhere. I wonder how they would have answered if we had asked about an Oilers game? Are straight girls prudes or are they just aware that they would be stared at? We straight folk are so romantic, saving our kick ass bodies for our loved ones. Or is it were just damn insecure?

Continued!

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