Sep. 11, 2007 - Issue #621: Sex in The City 07
Sex in The City 2007 Survey
2007 Sex in the City Survey
Yet another year has past and Edmontonians are screwing like rabbits. Well, most of you are. As in years past, we were determined to learn about your indiscretions and share them with the world! Why are Edmontonians so uptight in public but crazy sex fiends behind closed doors? What would you be willing to do for a lover, or that matter, a good scrog! What in God’s name is so damn appealing about fisting? Well we didn’t cover that one this year but there is always next. For now, enjoy reading about all the kinky shit your neighbours are doing behind closed doors.
So you math geeks don’t get all pissy on us, many of the questions are rounded so they may or may not equal 100%. Do write us letters to the editor about our inability to add—just read, relax and, uh, go somewhere more private if you feel the mood strike.
1) What gender do you most identify yourself as being?
59% Male
38% Female
3% Other
People who specified other include:
Male to Female Transgender
I am a male but want to be female
2) Are you straight, gay or bisexual?
66% Straight
12% Gay
12% Bisexual
7% Other
People who specified other include:
Heteroflexible
Pansexual
15 per cent fag
Straight but a little bi-curious
Orally bisexual
Omnisexual
80 per cent gay, 20 per cent straight but not really bisexual
There was a lot more of the same but more wordy descriptions of other. We did not expect paragraphs describing what was attractive to people on alternating Tuesdays but that was some of what we got. Nevertheless, we only have so much space to print the results of this survey so from here on in, we will be including those that answered ‘other’ in the bisexual group. Why? Because, given their flexibility or inability to commit, bisexual seems most appropriate. Yes, were making a judgment call. Sue us!
3) How old are you?
|
Male |
Female |
|
|---|---|---|
| 13-17 |
7%
|
12%
|
| 18-24 |
34%
|
47%
|
| 25-29 |
23%
|
23%
|
| 30-37 |
19%
|
8%
|
| 38-45 |
9%
|
5%
|
| 46-75 |
9%
|
4%
|
| 75 plus |
0%
|
1%
|
So, much like last year, our younger readers were more inclined to participate but wow did we get funky answers from the older batch. Damn you old folks are kinky!!
4) In the last 12 months, you are?
| Straight Male |
Gay Male |
Bi Male | Straight Female | Gay Female | Bi Female | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Still Single
|
23%
|
29%
|
42%
|
26%
|
25%
|
19%
|
|
Still Attached
|
43%
|
32%
|
21%
|
41%
|
20%
|
39%
|
|
Newly Single
|
7%
|
6%
|
5%
|
4%
|
10%
|
6%
|
|
Newly Attached
|
11%
|
13%
|
10%
|
13%
|
35%
|
14%
|
|
In a relationship then out then in again and so on...
|
4%
|
3%
|
13%
|
5%
|
5%
|
14%
|
|
Sleeping around and loving it.
|
7%
|
16%
|
0%
|
11%
|
5%
|
6%
|
|
Married to my fist
|
5%
|
0%
|
8%
|
1%
|
0%
|
0%
|
In retrospect, ‘Married to my Fist’ seems like a stupid option but it was funny at the time. As for results that we can see from your answers, most people have stuck with status quo except for gay guys. They’re getting hooked up by the truck loads. Bisexual Edmontonians seem least able to stick with a relationship. There are obviously trying, or else they would have answered “Sleeping around.”
5) In the last month, how many times have you had sex?
| Straight Male |
Gay Male |
Bi Male | Straight Female | Gay Female | Bi Female | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
0 |
25%
|
16%
|
42%
|
28%
|
30%
|
19%
|
|
1-4
|
24%
|
23%
|
32%
|
21%
|
20%
|
15%
|
|
5-10
|
20%
|
26%
|
5%
|
19%
|
15%
|
22%
|
|
11-20
|
19%
|
23%
|
10%
|
21%
|
15%
|
26%
|
|
21-30
|
6%
|
10%
|
7%
|
9%
|
10%
|
8%
|
|
Over 30
|
6%
|
3%
|
2%
|
5%
|
10%
|
8%
|
Wow, why do bisexual guys have sex so infrequently? It seems the average Edmontonian is getting laid about 6 or 7 times a month but the biguys are stuck at 2 or 3. What the hell is going on? Will some one please pick up a bisexual guy and screw him. They are getting all whiny and sad.
6) In the last month, how many times have you masturbated?
| Straight Male |
Gay Male |
Bi Male | Straight Female | Gay Female | Bi Female | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
0 |
6%
|
6%
|
5%
|
25%
|
20%
|
6%
|
|
1-4
|
16%
|
13%
|
8%
|
22%
|
25%
|
30%
|
|
5-10
|
24%
|
19%
|
16%
|
31%
|
20%
|
32%
|
|
11-20
|
20%
|
26%
|
24%
|
14%
|
10%
|
12%
|
|
21-30
|
16%
|
16%
|
21%
|
7%
|
5%
|
6%
|
|
Over 30
|
18%
|
19%
|
26%
|
2%
|
20%
|
10%
|
Wow, bi guys must have some strong wrists. Is the reason they aren’t getting laid because they are satisfied taking care of themselves or are they jerking off because they cant get laid? More research must be done. The ladies just don’t seem all that bothered. They either are getting laid like crazy or their too busy doing something else.
7) Do you ever masturbate in the workplace?
| Straight Male |
Gay Male |
Bi Male | Straight Female | Gay Female | Bi Female | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Often |
5%
|
10%
|
5%
|
2%
|
20%
|
10%
|
|
Occasionally
|
25%
|
23%
|
29%
|
8%
|
5%
|
18%
|
|
Once
|
23%
|
35%
|
21%
|
11%
|
20%
|
20%
|
|
Never |
47%
|
32%
|
42%
|
79%
|
30%
|
44%
|
|
Other
|
1%
|
0%
|
3%
|
1%
|
25%
|
4%
|
Damn, we forgot to ask what other means. I wonder what the hell the gay girls are doing at work. They didn’t answer no so there must be orgasms involved. What are you girls doing? Incidentally, if you are reading this at work, stop what you are doing and look around. Do you see three guys? Statistically speaking, one of them jerks off in your office regularly enough to quantify it. Can you tell which one? We dare you to confront the one you think is doing it. We dare you!
8) Have you ever slipped away from work for a midday screw?
| Straight Male |
Gay Male |
Bi Male | Straight Female | Gay Female | Bi Female | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Often |
6%
|
6%
|
5%
|
2%
|
10%
|
8%
|
|
Occasionally
|
23%
|
13%
|
18%
|
16%
|
10%
|
20%
|
|
Did Once
|
22%
|
16%
|
13%
|
20%
|
10%
|
18%
|
|
Never
|
32%
|
61%
|
60%
|
61%
|
60%
|
46%
|
|
Other
|
1%
|
3%
|
3%
|
2%
|
10%
|
4%
|
People who specified other said:
I legally can't leave during a shift but my girlfriend came to work and I know all the hiding spots.
Interesting, straight males seem most willing and able to slip home to slip one in. Why is that? Are their jobs more flexible? Or do their bosses just not care if they leave?
9) How many sex partners have you had in the last year?
| Straight Male |
Gay Male |
Bi Male | Straight Female | Gay Female | Bi Female | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
0 |
17%
|
13%
|
29%
|
18%
|
25%
|
8%
|
|
1
|
50%
|
26%
|
32%
|
48%
|
40%
|
30%
|
|
2-4
|
24%
|
23%
|
24%
|
24%
|
15%
|
44%
|
|
5-10
|
5%
|
13%
|
10%
|
9%
|
5%
|
6%
|
|
Over 10
|
5%
|
26%
|
5%
|
2%
|
15%
|
8%
|
We asked you to be more specific about the amount of partners you had, you said:
I'm in the swing community, so I may have 10 just in one day if there's a good group party happening. It's so lovely!
More like 30 or 40
I have two boyfriends and all three of us are in a polyamorous relationship.
As gay men, we do like to share ourselves more freely than those in the straight community, always have, always will! The proud history continues…
My wife (who doesn't know) and a girl friend that knows about my wife
There is only one thing we can thing of to say… wow, gay girls and boys get around!!
10) Let’s talk about hair. Do you keep you keep yourself…
| Straight Male |
Gay Male |
Bi Male | Straight Female | Gay Female | Bi Female | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Bare |
7%
|
10%
|
16%
|
31%
|
20%
|
12%
|
|
Just a hint
|
24%
|
35%
|
18%
|
33%
|
10%
|
34%
|
|
Trimmed but plentiful
|
39%
|
39%
|
39%
|
27%
|
40%
|
34%
|
|
Au naturale
|
28%
|
16%
|
26%
|
6%
|
5%
|
6%
|
|
Other
|
2%
|
0%
|
0%
|
2%
|
25%
|
10%
|
What did you mean by other?
Shaved balls trimed pubes
Au natural for now but can be changed by request
I have a landing strip.
I trim when I'm expecting company … so not lately.
If I am in a relationship, I try to keep things under control, mostly based on a preference specified by the other person. Otherwise, my bush just gets totally ignored.
Wow, the girls seem much more inclined to keep things neat and tidy. Are we guys that lazy and insensitive? In a word, yes.
11) What do you prefer from your partner?
| Straight Male |
Gay Male |
Bi Male | Straight Female | Gay Female | Bi Female | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Bare |
39% | 16% | 32% | 16% | 15% | 8% |
|
Just a hint for friction
|
24% | 32% | 8% | 25% | 10% | 19% |
|
Trimmed but Plentiful
|
13% | 19% | 24% | 32% | 30% | 37% |
|
A nice design
|
8% | 12% | 11% | 2% | 15% | 10% |
|
Let the forests grow
|
6% | 10% | 5% | 15% | 5% | 2% |
|
I've never had a partner, damn
|
7% | 6% | 18% | 10% | 5% | 20% |
|
Other
|
2% | 3% | 3% | 1% | 20% | 20% |
What did you mean when you said other?
Hairy like a bear wearing another bear as a coat
Males… trimmed; women… bare
Wow, It seems almost everyone prefers when their partner keeps things trimmed down below. Are men letting their partners down? Get out the shavers boys—you owe your partners!
12) Ladies, which of these would best describe your labia?
| Straight Female |
Gay Female |
Bi Female | |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Video-game coin slot |
37% | 35% | 20% |
|
Cheeseburger
|
15% | 20% | 24% |
|
Montreal smoked-meat sandwich
|
14% | 0% | 22% |
|
The curtains from a Broadway play
|
19% | 22% | 16% |
|
Other
|
15% | 22% | 14% |
Other? How would you describe it?
I would have went with the smoked meat sandwich, but I believe mine to be more like stacks of art work on pink canvas: you know there is something beautiful inside but the full appreciation doesn't hit until you've actually opened them up to reveal the…
The gates that lead to happiness
Unique, smooth and tidy
A muppet’s mouth sideways
Holy crap. We came up with this question, we thought it was hilarious but did we ever piss some women off. Check out the comments:
What the fuck do any of those mean?
I rarely to never describe my labia as anything—especially not as meat products or entertainment products. Gross, man.
I'd prefer not to compare my vagina to a "Montreal smoked-meat sandwich," thank you very much.
What the fuck? Guys get banana and pop can while we get smoked meat and cheeseburger? Way to gross it up. No wonder women have issues. Whatever happened to flowers?
I don't understand your metaphors.
The only other comments we have to make is, how did people get this wrong? Several women answered “I am a man” and several guys told us about their labias. Even if our metaphors sucked the question seemed fairly specific to gender. Or so we thought.
13) Which of these would best describe your penis?
| Straight Male |
Gay Male |
Bi Male | |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Sharpie |
9%
|
10%
|
8%
|
|
Banana
|
43%
|
52%
|
58%
|
|
Pop can
|
5%
|
3%
|
5%
|
|
Cucumber
|
30%
|
32%
|
16%
|
Again, people, how do you get this question wrong? 3 per cent of guys told us they were chicks. Plus a couple girls told us they were transsexuals, told us about their penises. How can you get these questions wrong? It’s like the bonus question on your grade one test where you get an extra point if you spell your name correctly. Damn.
Anyway, other means what?
Between a sharpie and a cucumber. Thicker and longer than a sharpie, smaller and shorter than a cucumber
Kubasa
Banana, curved to the left.
More like a large pickle, but the Claussen kind, not Bicks. I hate Bicks.
Ever seen a South African naked mole-rat? If so, then you've seen my penis
14) Sex with your current or most recent partner is (was)..
| Straight Male |
Gay Male |
Bi Male | Straight Female | Gay Female | Bi Female | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Everything I could hope and dream for |
22%
|
10%
|
18%
|
34%
|
15%
|
28%
|
|
Above average
|
35%
|
32%
|
21%
|
31%
|
50%
|
30%
|
|
Alright
|
21%
|
39%
|
26%
|
11%
|
15%
|
14%
|
|
It makes him/her happy otherwise I'd pass.
|
2%
|
13%
|
8%
|
4%
|
0%
|
2%
|
|
The reason the relationship sucks/is over!
|
3%
|
0%
|
0%
|
4%
|
10%
|
6%
|
|
I'm a virgin
|
11%
|
6%
|
18%
|
13%
|
0%
|
8%
|
|
Other
|
4%
|
0%
|
8%
|
4%
|
10%
|
8%
|
Other?
An ego boost. She came easily and let me know it. Pretty good for me too
I don't know what it is about my current partner, but I have the most fabulous orgasms.
Everything I could hope for and more, all things considered. My wife and I are both 23 and Christians; we've been married for three years. We were both virgins when we married. I had fooled around, including anal sex, with a couple girlfriends before my wife. My wife, on the other hand, had never even seen a guy in his boxers, never mind naked. At the start of our relationship she was very conservative and vanilla, however she is constantly growing, and as we continue to connect she is willing to open her boundaries and try new things. For a conservative pastor's daughter, she is doing her best to be GGG for me
He annihilated my vagina at 7 in the morning when I drunk as fuck and burned out. You could call it a bittersweet fuck.
Well, we have discovered why bisexual guys are limited to so few partners. A lot of them are virgins. It seems as though gay guys are willing to put out to keep a good partner but gay girls kick bad lover’s asses out. But I am probably reading too much into this.
15) Let’s talk about drugs. On which do you think sex is the best?
| Straight Male |
Gay Male |
Bi Male | Straight Female | Gay Female | Bi Female | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
E |
4%
|
13%
|
5%
|
5%
|
0%
|
10%
|
|
Acid
|
2%
|
3%
|
5%
|
0%
|
0%
|
2%
|
|
Pot
|
12%
|
13%
|
13%
|
12%
|
5%
|
8%
|
|
Coke
|
2%
|
6%
|
3%
|
4%
|
5%
|
4%
|
|
Shrooms
|
2%
|
6%
|
5%
|
2%
|
10%
|
6%
|
|
Alcohol
|
10%
|
0%
|
13%
|
20%
|
10%
|
10%
|
|
Who needs it?
|
27%
|
35%
|
13%
|
28%
|
35%
|
28%
|
|
Never tried it
|
35%
|
23%
|
37%
|
27%
|
20%
|
18%
|
|
Other
|
4%
|
0%
|
5%
|
1%
|
15%
|
10%
|
What does other mean?
Had a great time on shrooms, unfortunately never a sexy good time!
Viagra when you're young. Nothing beats it, trust me.
E, coke, ketamine, and pot would be my favorites
I don't have an "other," I just wanted to emphasize how awesome sex is on weed. Seriously.
Edmonton has spoken, and there are enough hormones and shit running through you when you’re having sex that other ‘medicine’ is not required. Au naturale baby. But, those of you who are so inclined are lined up for the booze and the pot. We were very surprised at E’s poor performance. Over rated, so you say!?!
16) How big are your tits?
| Straight Female | Gay Female | Bi Female | |
|---|---|---|---|
|
Flat as a board |
3%
|
5%
|
4%
|
|
A
|
12%
|
5%
|
18%
|
|
B
|
22%
|
15%
|
18%
|
|
C
|
28%
|
35%
|
22%
|
|
D
|
15%
|
20%
|
10%
|
|
DD
|
10%
|
10%
|
14%
|
|
Larger than DD
|
9%
|
10%
|
8%
|
Well, we have nothing to say other than we were curious. But for those who would like to know, of the guys who answered only 39 per cent admitted to having man boobs. Do you believe them?
Oh, lest we forgot, those who wanted to tell us more said:
I've been told that I have the most perfect rack ever.
They look almost identical to Angelina Jolie's in the movie Gia.
At just over 40 I get a lot of compliments on my breasts from men of all ages. One even told me I still had the breasts of an 18 year old. Of course, I doubt he'd seen 18-year-old breasts in quite some time. Still, they're real, and they're SPECTACULAR!
A great handful, but not too much. Like a nice bowl of cereal that is just right when you're hungry (but not starving).
They're brand new to me since I started the pill. I grew 2 cup sizes in a month or two but didn't put on weight elsewhere so they look huge to me. I was a B 3 years ago. Now I wear either a D or a DD.
I'm pregnant! They're getting bigger by the minute!
One is bigger than the other—very embarrassing.
They are pretty much just slightly under a 0.5 "A" cup size, with small nipples.
I've been a D cup since like grade 8. I like to refer to them as "the fucking hassle that get me free drinks.”
The first time I was with another girl she looked at my chest and said, "Oh my God! We have, like, the same breasts!"
The occasional stray jet black hair will spurt amidst the peach fuzz on my milky white breasts. My nipples are bumpy—I think it's little bits of calcium build up plus I have the odd scar from blemishes as a teen. I feel like my breasts are hideous because of this and I haven't revealed them in natural light in years.
When doing drag I get to make my own boobs, so I figured, "go big or go home!" I use a wonderful DD bra from La Senza that offers both comfort and support (getting sized was also a blast) with silicone inserts for feel and socks to fill them out. And now that I've seen the next question, I'm considering experimenting with Tic Tacs too.
17) Your nipples most resemble...
| Straight Male |
Gay Male |
Bi Male | Straight Female | Gay Female | Bi Female | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
Tic Tacs |
35%
|
16%
|
26%
|
13%
|
20%
|
22%
|
|
Dimes
|
32%
|
29%
|
42%
|
27%
|
22%
|
12%
|
|
Bingo Dabbers
|
25%
|
45%
|
16%
|
43%
|
18%
|
42%
|
|
Salami Slices
|
3%
|
3%
|
13%
|
14%
|
15%
|
14%
|
|
Flapjacks
|
1%
|
3%
|
0%
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