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Feb. 13, 2008 - Issue #643: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

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Enter Sandor

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 I have fantasized for years about a rock festival like no other; the bill would see bands that suffered some of the most acrimonious breakups in history forced, against their wills, to reunite. Sort of like VH1’s Bands Reunited, except with people who truly hate each other.


Not only would fans get to see the bands play one last show each, but there would be the chance that a set might be interrupted by a fist fight or maybe an abrupt walk-off by a band member. The drama would be as interesting as the music itself.
 

So, here’s the bill:
 

Dead Kennedys. Yes, DK are one of the most influential punk bands of all time; but the members’ ugly late-‘90s lawsuit forever ruined their street cred. The rest of the band sued former singer Jello Biafra for not promoting the band’s material because he refused to sell a song for a Levi’s commercial. Yup, punks arguing over commercialism. Oh, the irony. The court not only ruled that Biafra had not promoted the DK back catalogue properly, but that he had underpaid the rest of the band when it came to royalties. 
 

Creedence Clearwater Revival. How much does this band hate each other? When John Fogerty’s solo career took off, the rest of his former bandmates—including his brother, Tom, who later died of respiratory faolure due to AIDS—sided with CCR’s old record company, which claimed John Fogerty was plagiarizing his band’s old material and passing it off as new solo work. When the band was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the members could not work out a way to appear onstage together; even the honour couldn’t stop the hatred.
 

Uncle Tupelo. Both Jeff Tweedy and Jay Farrar seem like such nice, humble performers when they are on their own. So, how come they hate each other so much? At one time they shared frontman duties in Uncle Tupelo, the band that put “alternative county” in the lexicon of music journalists, but after a series of critically acclaimed albums their friendship blew up. Tweedy claims Farrar was jealous that Tweedy was growing as a songwriter; Farrar claims that Tweedy had a hero-worship complex. Needless to say, don’t expect to see Wilco and Son Volt on the same bill anytime soon.
 

Metallica. Of course, for this reunion the band would be forced to utilize Dave Mustaine on lead guitars. Mustaine, who went onto fame as the frontman of Megadeth, was in Metallica’s original lineup, but was thrown out of the band after a late-night showdown with the rest of the band—brought on by Mustaine’s substance abuse.  

Ministry. Yes, co-founder Al Jourgenson still has an industrial music franchise that uses the Ministry name, but fans know that the end came in 2004, when Paul Barker—the man whose electronic songwriting strengths provided the perfect foil for Jourgenson’s electric-guitar wailings—decided to leave the band after his father died. Since then, Jourgenson has not spared any breath in telling anyone who’d care to listen about how much he hates Barker. V



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