Sep. 10, 2008 - Issue #673: Sex in the City 2008

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Sex in the City Survey

Long Answer 10: Think yourself a sexpert? Offer us and our readers your advice on anything sexy!

Comments

• Do: be safe, have fun, experiment Don't: be paranoid that you look fat, stupid, hairy
• Do not slap the clit!! You do it, I'll slap your cock when it's hard and see how you like it.
• Where do I begin? - Be open to try different things - For the Ladies: For the love of god women, give your men blow jobs! I know so many of my friends that don't "like to give BJ's" because it is "gross" - Tell your lover what you want/need, how do you expect it to get better if they don't know?! Hints do not work with men, just TELL THEM. - For the men: Don't get jealous or insulted if a girl wants to bring in a toy to the bedroom, some girls are harder to get off and if your not doing the job right: we want to get off too! -
• I've had my share of practice so I guess I've seen a lot. The one thing I have found is that anyone can be taught to be good in bed. Penis length doesn't matter but girth does.
• A little lube goes a long way!
• Sex is more psychological than physical; you should get me thinking about it and anticipating it long before we get around to it. Plus, Observation is key!
• don't neglect the balls
• everyone has a fetish... a kink... it's quite liberating and fun to explore those with your partner.
• Consider each person differently, talk about their feelings about sex, their limitations and allow them to express themselves without pressuring them. Men - Do not tell a girl you prefer a sexual position, find out if she likes it first or is willing to try it and if she does not drop the issue, Girls - You do not have to try or do something just because he likes it, wants it or may dump you if you do not do it. Keep in mind that if you do something just because you think he likes it you are forgetting to consider yourself and your own needs or desires.
• Every woman needs to experience a squirting orgasm. It's easy and AMAZING.
• The upper lip has more nerve endings than teh lower lip, its very sensual there. Also the nerves outside the pinky finger are really super sensitive and a light touch there can light things up if you know how to do it right.
• Sex is intuitive, sex is confidence.
• Not a sexpert at all- would you like to give ME some advice???
• Ladies - don't underestimate the power of a Brazilian!! (Both for him AND her!)
• don't go full blast right away, people. build up to a climax. that's the entire point.
• I think you need to be comfortable with what you are doing and not feel forced into it..... oh and stay away from children.....adults people!!
• Being comfortable in your own skin and being self confident is sexiest of all. When I see how my boyfriend looks at me and hear him say things like "you're so fucken hot" or "you feel so good" as he's fucking me or as I'm blowing him makes me forget about everything else that could be going through my mind and I can just focus on pleasuring him and making sure that I am enjoying it/him too.
• Cooking in the nude together. Spur of the moment, hard-kissing against a wall or door. Secretly dating each other without anyone else knowing (ex. we were lesbians not out of the closet yet!)
• Ladies, learn to roll them hips and ride that hard on like there's no tomorrow at the O.K. Corral. Your man will LOVE it and it'll DEFINITELY increase your own climax!
• Just do it! The rules of society are someone else's hang ups and issues. Do what feels right for you - monogamous, polyamorous, swing, fetish, BDSM - it's all wonderful. Be sure to keep the communication lines fully open. Talk about what you want, what you like, who you like and do it A LOT! Never assume, always ask and enjoy!
• Being with a man is like public speaking...even if you have no idea what your doing, act like you know and be confident in yourself. If your in bed with him then you already know he's attracted to you so don't be self conscious about your body, let him leave the lights on, don't hide your body if you get up to go to the bathroom. Give yourself over to your sexuality and have confidence in your ability to give him pleasure and he will love whatever you do to him.
• FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAKE NOISE. Guys, this goes for you too!
• It's not necessarily over when one of you comes.
• Don't feel worse if you don't look/function like a porn star.
• Massage a woman's lower stomach while cuddling after sex.
• si senor! put some love into it, even if you don't love the person put some love in what you are doing, enjoy the moment, every bit of it, focus on enjoying every caress, kiss , moan , whisper. work on your parters whole body, go to unusual spots. COMUNICATE, talking a little or even just showing a reaction to what you like will help your parter to know what you like. Care about our parter's pleasure as much as you care for your own. Music is always great. haha Enjoy it!
• Ladies, its okay to approach the guy. He's more nervous than you are.
• Commuicate what you like/want. My wife is the only women that i have opened up to about my fantasies and since i did, the sex has been explosive. You don't have to fufil the fantasy for it to have a mind blowing sex enhancing impact on your love life. Also really listen to what she likes and finds enjoyable, don't be afraid to push the boundaries. Simply; if you don't ask you don't get!
• Ask your partner to please themselves and follow them with your own hand so you can learn exactly what gets them off the quickest, everyone is different and if you are able to emulate exactly what they do it terms of speed location and technique it will make for some intense moments after all we are the best at getting ourselves off so just imagine some one else doing exactly the way you do it meanwhile stimulating your sensitive turn on spots as you just sit back and enjoy the intense wave of pleasure.
• Be confident, go for what you want and trust yourself and your partners. Be the man you fucking want to be.
• This little piece of advice is for all the heterosexual men and homosexual women. I was fortunate to learn this early on in my life. This is one thing all women want universally straight or gay, now take in mind they want this one thing in less or more degrees depending on the woman. I'm going to put this in caps to make my point. ALL WOMEN WANT DOMINACE!!! They all want to be thrown up againist a wall and taken for all they're worth. Every woman and I mean every woman. That's right your mom, your single fatass boss who pisses you off, CHINA from WWF for those of you who remember her. Don't get me wrong women like to push men around because deep down inside they know that's not the natural order of things. But even a little deeper then that they all wanted to be dominated. That's just they way God made it, it's the same thing in the animal kingdom if you don't believe me. So learn to be dominate and not a little bitch. If you can do that women will put up with all your bull shit because they are going to want to bang you all day long. And when women have sex they don't complain about anything. Believe me if women want to make you pissed off they can so do yourself a favor and have sex with them, it'll make the world a better place.
• Have an open-mind, don't be pushy, and use lube, and lastly some women that may want to try anal but are too shy to say so, may open up a bit more (litterally and figuratively) under the influence of beefeater gin. PRACTICE SAFE SEX
• all women are sexy in their own way. If you have a particular preference or type of girl your attracted to, try the exact opposite. it may surprise you.
• Blowjobs have become far too machine-like. It's for sucking, not chaffing like mad. Practice with popsicles.
• I'm by no means an expert on anything; though, if you enjoy something, do it. Try everything that grabs your interest at least once, you may love it.
• be oral and aural, shave, and go hard
• Don't be afraid to try new things! A trip to the sex store with a loved one, and the aftermath can be one of the funnest things you'll ever do.
• you gotta preheat the oven!
• Explore your partners feelings & desires - carry their scent at times - when going away place a drop or two of your aftershave under her pillow- carry a clean pair of her panties in your pocket. Read and expand your knowledge all the time.Listen listen listen and actually hear what your partner says as often as possible and never miss the opportunity to shut up.
• For guys: Loose the Whore vs. Madonna complex to achieve true sexual hapiness in a loving relationship. This was a big hang up for me and I'm sure for lots (or most) other guys. Most women like sex as much as you do. For girls: Be as "dirty' as possible for your guy. Thats what we want.
• Sexy just give them a jolly good rodgering slap the arse of them a bit depends on the wan some like a more soft sensual ride. Communication is key, Talk to them find out what they want if it is not obivous. Suss the mood sometimes its good to just jockey them like a mad bastard plenty of roaring and shouting is good too nasty talk is lovely too. Rip her pants off with your teeth that sort of stuff. Just enjoy it and feel free.
• Everyone says "don't learn from porn," but the truth us, you can learn lots from porn. Just don't expect to end every romp with a facial cum-shot. Trust me, she won't like it.
• Cultivate your imagination. The sexiest part of anyone is their brain. People can learn to think anything is sexy by associating it with past turn-ons. For example, I taught myself to love small breasts by associating arousal with a former small-breasted partner who was my first really sexually adventurous lover.
• The mind is like a parachute and functions best when open. I have had sex with "str8" men who happen to enjoy men. Yes some were/are married, after all.... who knows a man's body better than another man. Also for those of you that call things GAY. This is SO GAY, or that thing is GAY. Those might be interesting things or odd things they are NOT GAY . I am GAY not that the other things. Remember what gay really means. Yes you do have gay people in your family, shake any family tree and fruit will fall out it !! One more thing... NEVER assume sexual orientation or gender. You just never know, men married to women doesn't guarantee either on of them is str8. Trust me, I know WAY too many that bat for both teams.
• I do. Basically take your time, anticipation can be amazing; as long as the actual sex is as well. Talk to your partner, find out what he/she likes, learn to read their body language, and never be a selfish lover.
• good communication is absolutely the key to good sex—with your partner or others. using your tongue for more than licking will always lead to better sex.
• I think I'm really good in bed - but I don't know what exactly it is I'm doing right. Maybe it's a little bit of everything? Maybe it's being attentive and giving? I don't know.