Oct. 26, 2011 - Issue #836: Winter Guide 2011
Winter Guide 2011
Stay hot
KIDS AND KOLD
You didn't get your kids ready for winter and one of them stuck their tongue on a metal pole. Now they've frozen to death. To learn how to avoid this, click here
KEEP WARM IN WINTER
You didn't dress properly for the weather and you got hypothermia. The doctor treating you is woefully incompetent and accidentally poisons you. To learn to avoid this, click here
MAKING SURE YOUR GEAR IS READY
You lost an edge on your skis and went tumbling into a crevasse and get stuck. It's kinda like that movie 127 Hours, except you're a wuss and won't cut your own arm off so you starve to death. To learn how to avoid this, click here
PREPARING TO GET PHYSICAL
You didn't work out all summer and now you can't keep up with your physically superior friends. You get separated from them while catching your breath and get eaten by a bear. To learn to avoid this, click here
SONIC SUGGESTIONS
Your terrible taste in music caused a massive fight in the car on the way to the ski hill. In the midst of in-car punching, you take your eyes off the road and go over a cliff. To learn to avoid this, click here
SQUEEZE ANOTHER WINTER OUT OF YOUR JALOPY
The minute that yeti steps out of the forest you realize your car wasn't properly serviced. Now, since it won't go very fast, you can't outrun the beast and he ends up eating you. To learn to avoid this, click here
KEEP COOL IN WINTER
Your winter fashions are hopelessly out of date and everybody knows it. You die of embarrassment. To learn to avoid this, click here
More stories in Snow Zone »
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